I am powerless because my alcoholic mind did not bring in with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and pain drinking caused me, to stop me, for example,
I was hit by a taxi one night because I staggered in front of it, the driver got out and kicked the hell out of me, the police came and I tried to hit the cop and ended up in a police cell, the next morning when I woke up I was in physical and mental pain, I swore it was the worst experience I had ever had and it scared the hell out of me,
when the police let me out I walked down the street and by the time I had walked 50 yards my mind was saying "just have a couple", "it will be different this time" and off I went again, the night before was but a fleeting memory, not a single thought of the consequences crossed my mind.