Another welcome and another voice to say, This is a progressive thing full of self-delusion. I've been a "functional alcoholic," I've stayed sober for a time and convinced myself I didn't have a problem. I've spent Lord only knows how much of my time, money, energy on drinking. I can even remember asking myself once if I loved anybody or anything but the bottle.
Deal with it now. Find something that works for you and work it! Don't waste any more of your precious life on this pernicious addiction.
You've found a good place to start.