Hi Saphie,
Thanks for this post, and thanks to everybody who's responded. Some good stuff.
I have the grief process too, ie, why can't I drink like normal people? The other day I was in an office and the secretary pointed me to the coffee mugs. On the top shelf were several bottles of liqueurs. I had a sneaky thought, One day; had to squelch it. "No day." Sneaky thought, But that's not what I'd get drunk on. Rational thought "Alcohol is alcohol." Then there are the trips to the wine country, the fine wine and dining trip to the lodge in WA state. I think acceptance involves grief. We can't drink like normal people. But we can enjoy the fine dining :>)
I've messed up a lot with my drinking. I can't change one second of the past. I can just deal with today and be hopeful for tomorrow. I know by the grace of God things will get better.
I wonder if we alcoholics don't sometimes bring things on ourselves or overreact to them as an excuse to have a drink. Not sure. Maybe.
Stay strong!