Buzz,
Thanks for that! I guess I needed to hear the medical part of what I have done to my body for so long. I know that I have hurt my liver and it is working overtime right now to get back to normal but I guess I really didn't think about my brain, which I should have cause I'm not stupid, but I haven't been sober in awhile either. LOL!! I do want to thank you and everyone else for thier comments.
Today has been a much better day. I got up, went to a festival, cleaned my house, went to the grocery store and had a really good day. I had to push myself a little but it was really good. I just can't believe sometimes what a number I really put on my body. The things I was putting my body through and now it is trying to get well. We all no better than to do these things to ourselves and I look back and think 'I never want to forget this'. This is what is going to keep me sober, looking back at how stupid I was for putting my body through it in the first place. But when you are getting high you aren't thinking about what you are putting your body through, all we care about is getting high.
Thank you all so much for being so supportive. I was just getting so aggervated with my body not being able to get up and go or barely take care of my two year old son. I know I need to be patient and I am working on that. There are a few things I need to start working on but my brain isn't all the way clear yet either. My brain is actually all over the place I have noticed.
My doc is a wonderful man. So, I have been going to him and he has helped me so much. I was so ashamed when I told him I just got out of detox because he was giving me the script that started it all but to my suprise everyone in my life has been so supportive and non-judgemental. I am blessed with wonderful people including all of you!