Hey all thanks so much for the fast replies! It always fills me with happiness when people are so eager to offer their help, its much appreciated. Yeah NEOMARXIST I am from England. I sometimes think that our culture is part of the problem, it seems almost compulsory to go out and get smashed to fit in with a young persons society. I am definitely all or nothing, I dont think ive ever had a steady drink in my life. Thinking about it, a few friends and I would often arrange a 'session' where we aim to get wasted, the difference being that for them it was a choice, I would end up wasted regardless. I have often thought I could be a sort of alcoholic. Apart from my obvious heavy drinking, I often get aggressive or offensive towards friends or bar staff when they stop serving or we have to go home, I get all moody and depressed, this doesn't happen to anyone else. It would also not be unusual to see me wandering around with 2 or 3 drinks in my hand or ordering a few at a time. These things make me think that I have a problem. To sum me up I don't ever really 'crave' a drink. Its only a problem once I choose to have drink, then I need more and more. Theres no doubt I enjoy it at the time, im full of confidence to approach anyone, and always have a far better night when I am drunk. Its very confusing knowing what to do as I am normally quiet and fairly shy, so the drink loosens me right up.
Ill be putting a lot of thought into what I need to be doing.
Thanks very much once again X