I'm surprised that when they arrested him they didn't force him into the hospital for wound care before booking. That's what they would do here. Maybe he knew that and didn't tell the booking officers, so that he could get out as quickly as possible. I'm sorry you feel that you are responsible. You ask what I think is an interesting question "Are we supposed to have any expectation of getting something in a relationship?" Yes, I think we can expect our relationship with a significant other to be a partnership, a two-way street. Of course there will be times when you are more the giver, then others when you are getting. Nothing is exactly 50/50, of course. But it shouldn't consistently be you giving and your "partner" taking. He is not your child, after all, he is supposed to be your man. It's a wonderful feeling to be with a man who can help you, take care of you when you are ill, someone you can rely on, just as he relies on you. And you deserve that type of relationship.
I understand where you are now. Most of us have been there, too. You may have a lower bottom than some, but that doesn't mean you can't recover from your codependency and one day live a healthy life with more healthy relationships (there is no perfection here, just progress!). We do recover.
I keep hearing people ask you "Will you go to an Alanon meeting?" Have I missed the answer? What are you willing to do for your recovery? It does not need to wait until you finish your journey with this man for you to begin your own recovery. I'm adding you to my nightly prayers.
Love,
KJ