WELCOME!!
Sounds so familiar to me as well... especially when I lived alone. I remember just seeing the alcohol as my buddy that I could rely on at night. When I look back I was SOOOO lonely. I just didn't know what to do about it. Instead it isolated me more and it was a bad cycle. I wished I had loved myself more to ask for help..so good for you for coming here.
Fast forward to today - where I am married with a baby - and I was still doing it.
I finally decided no more and stopped 13 days ago. It has been a wonderful decision.
I decided to end the cycle and try to find a way to live a fuller life. You can try it - see how it feels for 30, 60, 90 days. Imagine doing something else with your evening and weekends besides drinking/recovering! There is sooo much more to life!