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Old 10-03-2009, 09:41 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
bval
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
Hi Ashlee, welcome to the boards, and I'm glad the vitamins are working for you. Although I'd posit that there's really no substitute for time, and after 10 days, there's no question in my mind that you'd have started feeling a lot better very soon, regardless of vitamins. But hey, they can't hurt, right?

Anyways ... yeah. Get to some meetings. NA, AA, whatever. You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. Just find a few meetings, in parts of town or places you are comfortable, and just go. Area's you've been before. Some of my first meetings took place in a room I used to go to Sunday School, 30+ years earlier. My grandfather had made many of the stained glass windows in the church that sat next door, in fact, one of the windows that was visible walking up to the meeting, I'd 'helped' him install when I was about 5 years old.

Surely there's going to be a meeting someplace in your general vicinity that you feel is 'familiar' to you, where you feel safe in the neighborhood. Trust me, that does help with getting over the general 'first-time' jitters. You don't want to put yourself in some sketchy area, or anywhere near where you used to score, otherwise that'll just add to your anxiety.

So, again, I advise you to find a meeting in such a place as you're comfortable, and then 'girl-up', and just GO ... all you gotta do for a while is just sit and listen. Learn 'the ropes', so to speak, learn how and what people generally talk about there.

I recommend you go to either a 'speaker' meeting, or a 'newcomers', or a 'young peoples' meeting. Most other meeting types like 'step-study' are more geared for people who've been participating for awhile.

While you're there, pick up a Big Book (AA) or a Basic Text (NA), and grab any of the free pamphlets that interest you.

I'd also advise raising your hand and saying your name and admitting you're an addict, but that is really not critical in any way. It's more like 'tradition', but you don't have to. You don't HAVE to do ANYthing in AA or NA. It's just a fellowship of recovering addicts and alcoholics tryign to help one another get well. There is TRULY nothing remotely 'scary' about the whole situation.

If I'd never gone to meetings, I seriously doubt I'd have the 26 months clean under my belt that I do now. You really can learn A LOT that will help you in your recovery simply by going to a lot of meetings and just sitting there, and listening. Of course, it's even better if you get involved, get a sponsor, and work the steps, all that good stuff. But that can all wait until you're comfortable in the environment.

I'm telling you, once you've been to a few and understand what's going on there ... you'll feel completely comfortable in the environment for the rest of your life. At this point, I know I could walk into a meeting anywhere in the world without feeling the slightest twinge of apprehension. I walk in going 'these are my peeps, these are the people that know and understand me, without my even needing to say a word'.

There's no substitute for the fellowship you can find in and around 'the rooms', especially once you find some good groups around town that are really focused on recovery.
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