[QUOTE=cessy68;2387310]Hi faithfully,
Perhaps you don't want to 'see' that this is absolutly out of control. Your refusal to take some AUTHENTIC responsiblity and accountablity for YOUR PART in all of this, is ultimately going to cause YOU to be ill.... frankly I think you are already.
Your post is particularly hard hitting, and I understand. Yes my self esteem is battered, yes it looks like I don't like myself, you are right, I don't like myself. I do see the situation as out of control. Yes I see how enabling has made matters worse. I have become numb to the horror of it. I see how I am responsible, by giving money, and that I will stop. He is unfortunately unable to work becuase he cannot walk or use one arm since the surgeries they did on him, so no, all he gets is a small welfare check that out here for living is a complete joke. It can pay for a room, but you'd have no food or bus money. I will be working on helping him get his full level disability, as he cannot get around to all the doctors required to get that pushed through, he has to have 3 doctors sign a form, and the processing, which can take over 3 months, may stil mean he is denied in the end. I have arranged with an advocacy group that I will be able to do an intake over the phone to get it started. I am currently working on that and it will give him an extra few hundred and month eventually if he is accepted. Ty for your post, and no I am not looking for people to like me here, just to find common experiences so that I can do the right thing and be able to understand. I think it's hard hitting posts like yours that drove me away. But I realize what you are saying and I feel very bad for how I've contributed to this situation, and made matters worse.