Thank you for your support, I hope to hell I haven't given up on trying to save him, I feel like sometimes I am and then I'm mad at myself for resenting him and feeling angry. I cannot make him go to a doctor and when the ambulance shows up he could refuse treatment anyways. Thank you for explaining how crack can numb the pain. I think I will have to get out of the way, obviously, even though I give him roof, food, clean and take care of him, I'm still not doing the right thing. He wants me to stay till the bitter end and he feels it is inevitable. I don't want to give up hope and accept his impending death but when I see how sick he really is, I am not sure I have a choice. We once went to hospital and they dressed his wounds and he ripped them off the minute we got home.