Ya know, I just wanted to say I feel a little bit better today. With all the positive responses and seeing my life in someone else's words gives me so much hope. I want to say that my neighbor (who is on perk 30s) came to the house this morning. She was so high her eyes were rolling in the back of her head. I thought to myself "thank you God that I am sober just for today". Seeing her like that made me feel so good about myself because I know that about 15 20 days ago I looked stupid like that too. I don't have any urge to use whatsoever and so I think things are going pretty good. I just hope that maybe something I say to her one day will make her open her eyes and see she shouldn't live like that. But I'm not too worried about it, her sobriety will come with time when she is ready. I just want to be the inspiration for someone else. Hell yeah this has been so hard but you know what was harder? Joansen for that pill everyday, calling people till I found it. I lived my entire life around that pill. Life is easier now and I know it will continue to get better. I can't wait till I can say I've got 30,60,90 days. I'm going to make this one day at a time and each day gets just a little better, enough to keep me going!!