Great idea to seek out meetings, and even better idea to go and commit to going to at least 6 meetings to see if they don't help you as much as they have helped many of us here.
Tough love is a broad term and depends on interpretation. My recovery might be considered tough love, but it is only tough because I love my addict son enough to let go of trying to control his addiction/recovery/life choices, thinking if I loved him enough that he just might make better choices and seek recovery. Thinking I could control it was an illusion, but I tried for years and years until the founder of this site, a recovering addict named Jon, once told me that I might just love my son right into his grave. Ouch, that was hard to hear, tough for me if you like, but it was the best advice I was ever given.
Here are a few things I did that enabled my son and prolonged his journey...
I begged, pleaded, negotiated, bribed, and talked until I was blue tryng to change him.
I provided him with a good home filled with love, good food, clothing, cell phone, car, and safety hoping he would choose to live this way himself.
I bailed him out of jail, covered for him to spare him embarassment and consequences, drove him to meetings and picked him up, turned a blind eye to what I knew was lies and small thefts from our home.
I gave him money and my husband provided him with a job so he could avoid stress and attend meetings or counseling or anything he needed to do to work on recovery.
Didn't work for him and made us crazy.
In recovery, I changed what I did...
I set boundaries for living in our home, and when they were broken I followed up with the consequence by making him leave, telling him I'd love him just as much living anywhere else. This was the hardest thing I ever did. Didn't change him, but made my home livable again and safe. I did give him a list of rehabs, detox numbers, and meetings which were all alternatives to living on the street, then left the choice up to him.
I stopped giving him money for anything. Time had taught me that most of the requests were lies and the money just financed his habit.
I stopped bailing him out of jail, stopped adapting my life to his needs and his schedules, and stopped being "the one" who could save him, because I couldn't, only he could do that.
Tough love? For me it was tough to do, for him it was what he needed to find his own way, learn his own lessons, and know that there were consequences for all our actions.
I found meetings and a recovery program that literally saved my life. I found counseling and I found SoberRecovery and my life has continued to improve ever since. Today I live a happy, blessed, peaceful life, spiritually connected to God once again (after being mad at God for many years), and I find joy in every single day...in spite of the fact that my son is still lost in his addiction.
I learned that I could no longer live in the problem (his addiction) and decided to start living in the solution (my own recovery) and that has made all the difference.
Each morning I say a prayer, asking God to take care of my son wherever he may be, and then live the rest of the day knowing that all is well and exactly as it should be right now.
Like I said earlier, tough love is only an expression and loving our addicts enough to let go is as tough as it gets.
Hugs