Amelie, don't think that you're boring anyone. Unfortunately for some picking up over and over again with having every intention of quitting just doesn't happen.
I don't know if you've hit an AA/NA meeting and gotten a sponsor and started working the steps, but that's my suggestion. It's what has really worked for me and has given me the tools I need everyday to stay sober.
Please keep posting and reading. That's what this great, wonderful, kick @ss site is here for!! My best to you. :ghug3