im on board with tazman and keith on this one blarney.my stroy in a nutshell was this,,,,drank for 20 yrs,in that time i tried doctors,counselling,pills and potions,physc ward,,the list goes on,i even tried AA briefly four years ago.i went back at the begining of this year and really was done with it,i did what was suggested and went to lots of meetings and called at least 3 folk every day from the fellowship.within a month i had picked up a drink again,,i drank for 12 hours only and it was like a switch going off,i poured the drink away and got back to a meeting that night.the compulsion to drink left me,that was eight months ago.i knew there and then that meetings were not enough,i am a chronic alcoholic.that means that when i stop drinking the physical side is fixed for a while.but then i am left with the spiritual malady,,if this is not treated i will be forever picking up the first drink,i am powerless over alcohol.so,i got a sponsor asap,got on the steps and went at it h£ll for leather,i did everything that was suggested to me and made a point of doing things i was scared of doing,lots of other things too,,in fact i just surrendered to everything,,did the opposite to what the old me would have done,,,,in a short time i have changed beyond recognition.my thinking has changed,i no longer live in self.i have had a spritual awakening as a result of the 12 steps,i have recovered from the spiritual malady.alot of folk would think this was fairly quick progress,,and that maybe it cant be so! but it is,,it is my journey and it is the truth,,i have no need to lie anymore,,im living the truth.i wish you well in your journey.