Thread: Just Lying?
View Single Post
Old 09-30-2009, 02:12 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Astro
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
Originally Posted by thirtybubba View Post
If I wasn't already a senior when I started to get sober, I wouldn't consider going to school. Lots of respect and more hugs to those who go in 'middle' sobriety--ie, those who don't keep stumbling around like me. But the reality is, higher higher education is already on my horizon. The papers have to be in in the next few months. Objectively, there is no reason I can't get it all done--I got here drunk, and until recently worked full time and attended school full time. It's this new sobriety and it's interesting little features that's holding me back
I wish I had something totally super and hugely inspirational to share with you TB, but my spiritual gas tank is temporarily running on empty. Honestly, after reading this thread, I think you've got everything figured out much better than you think you do. Your thinking is clear, there just seems to be a little of that alcoholic fear that needs to be put away for good.

A senior? Wow! I can't imagine what my life would've been like if I'd sobered up that young. At the age of 18 I still had aspirations to go to college and be a forest ranger. And then....for one reason or another....drinking became top priority. I started bartending so I could sneak drinks for free, when I got fired for giving away drinks I became a plumber, digging trenches to make beer money. 25 years later, I'm still in the construction industry. It pays well and it pays the bills, but it was never my dream. You have the opportunity to follow your dreams, that gift is being handed to you, I hope you take it for all it's worth.

And about those thoughts of there being "too much to catch up, no way can I do it". My brain was pretty much shot after detoxing. I used to do everything from memory and the memory was gone, it still hasn't come back fully. To me, sometimes "one day at a time" also means "one task at a time". The only way I make it through a day at work is to pile everything in a heap on my desk, and start weeding my way through it one piece at a time. Eventually, it gets done
Astro is offline