Well, I hope I never ever ever ever ever have a day like that again.
But in case I ever read through this, I'd like some kind of closure...
It ended on an okay note though. One of the assignments turned out to be doable next week as well. I made the cookies at midnight (yes, I was sober, although that vanilla smelled better than I remembered) and my roomie tested them (she was stoned, so I hope they're okay lol).
Earlier in the evening, I confronted her about throwing out my body wash. She apologized, thought it was empty, and paid for it. We hugged, and at least half my war is over (she seemed surprised that I didn't want to fight--I'd love to hear all the lies about me)... so she got a cookie later. The other one still wants to hard eye me... I don't think she realizes I may look and act nice and sweet but I come from a shockingly different world. She does not scare me...
And right now, I don't have to work the cookie sales, they got enough people, so I can finally study for that stupid psych test. Study is probably the wrong word, read some definitions and hope for the best is more accurate.
If I wasn't already a senior when I started to get sober, I wouldn't consider going to school. Lots of respect and more hugs to those who go in 'middle' sobriety--ie, those who don't keep stumbling around like me. But the reality is, higher higher education is already on my horizon. The papers have to be in in the next few months. Objectively, there is no reason I can't get it all done--I got here drunk, and until recently worked full time and attended school full time. It's this new sobriety and it's interesting little features that's holding me back...
So yeah, it's that stupid rollercoaster of emotions I guess, only worse this time. Making up for the easy withdrawal symptoms I suppose. I think I'd rather the other way... and that's saying a lot.
I'm really starting to BE that little saying about insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting something different... even if it *looks* different, it's probably just the same, I'm thinking. But I might navigate these horse latitudes after all. Lateen sail lol...
Take care, and I thank everyone for putting up with me and all the support--once more
-TB, mighty relieved