Katie,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I totally understand because I have been going through it with my AS. He just was placed in a year long program by the courts last week. I totally understand you helping him get ready to go because you were happy he was getting help. They are still our sons even though they are addicts. I have told my son several times I love him but I hate his addict. Sometimes it is hard to separate the two because we know what they were like before the addiction took over and we would do anything to help get them back. It is true though he does have to suffer his own consequences so he will learn and this is the hardest thing for a parent to let happen. Never in a million years would I have thought I could sleep at night with my son being in jail and in the end it was a comfort to me because I knew he was finally safe. In this situation I am not sure what the right thing to do is. My guess is the right thing would be to tell the pastor but honestly, I don't know if I could. You could tell the Pastor about the check and let him decide what to do. Either way it will catch up with you son sooner or later. It is true no amount of treatment will work until the addict is tired of living that way. We have been through it several times and each time my son said he wanted it. It breaks my heart to think they will have to fight this for the rest of their lives.
Does the bank press criminal charges or do they just go to collections? My son had faked deposits through the ATM and a collection agency kept calling for the money but no charges we pressed.
Do the best thing for you. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.