hello jay and welcome to sr,i too am alcoholic and could not stay sober on my own.i went to AA and through the 12 step recovery programme my life has changed beyond recognition.i get where your coming from,i called it the treadmill.there came the point where i wanted to get off.have you ever considered that it may not be will power that you need? how many times has your "will power" failed you when trying to stop or regulate your drinking? mine was zero as far as alcohol was concerened.as soon as i absolutely realised that it wasnt my will power that i needed and alcohol had me beat i started to recover.i am delighted that you have decided to check out AA.go with an open mind and listen to the similarities in other folks shares and how your drinking was with you.i wish you well.keep us posted,