My therapist recommended some books by Hariett Lerner (sp?). "The Dance of Intimacy," "The Dance of Fear," and "The Dance of Anger." She writes about how our past and current relationships with our family of origin have a direct effect on our relationship with our romantic partners. With helpful examples of how others have resolved their issues. Very good stuff. Not specific to alcoholism/codependence, but dysfunctional relationships in general.
L