Hey again, well I made it home, and am OK, but my partner, not so much. He's more or less passed out on the bed, he must have gone out after work, despite plans to the contrary. Nothing to do now but wait. He is emitting the occasional moaning sound, odd sorts of cries, yet seems unable to communicate. This is hard, as it could as well be me, and just hard to listen to, or I should say emotionally painful. Haunting. Yet I am tired, and will stay in. Tomorrow is a new day, will be day three for me, and my bf can hopefully make day one.
I also am familiar with that whole thing about lines of cocaine not being as ‘evil’ as crack, as if cocaine is somehow sophisticated, and crack is déclassé. Both seem pretty dangerous. Funny, there is a certain vogue right now among the younger art students for crack, as if its former status of being beneath their parent’s typically wealthy social class somehow makes it ‘cool’ I will never figure certain things out.
There’s a very loud train idling outside. Generally they don’t bother me, but this one has an odd rasping quality, as of the engine is about to go out. Hopefully it will leave the platform soon.
I hope I can help my bf. He’s very much the quiet sort, even more afraid/shy of the idea of going to meetings than me, which is hard to fathom. We went to a SMART meeting together once, and got drunk afterwards: I think it may have been because it was in a very affluent suburb of Washington, DC, and it was hard to see so much wealth...
Hopefully we can find ways to help each other through this. I need to brainstorm a bit. We’ve been together 18 years now, and I hope to see 18 more.
HP