Just wanted to report, after 2 weeks of killing myself slowy using beer to mask the pain of what I did, the money I lost, Im finally starting to forgive myself and work on the future. Therapy meeting first thing in the morning, taking a resume into a very promising work position then going to try to hit the gym then pick up my son from preschool. Thanks to some awsome friends and a wife that is unbelieveable, therapy and trying to put my strength in God I am slowly starting to forgive myself. I still have a long way to go, the blackness in my heart for what I have done is going to take a while to go away but Im trying... thanks for listening....