I too felt exactly the same way as you Penny. I felt like a ticking tomb bomb. I never hurt my son, but I lacked patience in a big way. Time away from the alcohol helped me. My shortness was a result of my withdrawal from the stuff. I got better and my parenting got better with time. Not perfect here, but better.
Also Mom Groups or anything that will lend you some time to care for yourself is a good idea. I do a play date exchange with a friend. Her husband is military and gone a lot. She's got 4 kids and so I "try" to take them as much as I can so she can have a break. Find someone that can let you have some "me" time. Family, friends, church, mommy groups, or parents' day out. PM me if you need to. I check in at the end of the day and the morning. Will try to be on more often if you need someone to talk to.
Being a mommy can be a lonely and definitely hard job. Especially, being a mommy while recovering, but it can be done. I'm proof and there are many, many more around here too. Hugs - Sarah