I hope I’m not giving the impression that my recovery is a picnic. Yeah…I’m doing better…but it’s not a bouquet of roses all the time. There are many times when I feel like complete sh!t and I want to give up.
I cried myself to sleep last night over many things. After a while I was crying just to cry.
I cried a little at work this morning. It happens.
I think I can see why so many people succumb to addiction. Feeling raw emotion is draining.
Nearly six months sober is a long time for me, but in terms of healing…I know I have a long way to go. I’m changing my entire life around. I’m not going to be “healed” in half a year.
I don’t know how to convey what it is I’m trying to say…just know this is my attempt at a hopeful message for those struggling. Getting well takes time…we didn’t fall into the hole overnight. It’s important to stick with healing even when giving up is the only thing you want to do.
To steal a remark from my therapist: when you feel sad/upset/utterly hopeless…it is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. It’s a warning system.
Listen to your body and mind…take care of yourself.