I use to do that with drugs. get past the guilty feeling. Get back to living like I was suppose to and a few weeks later. Think it was all good. Cause I always bounced back every time.
But lately I got really tired of having to start at square one again and again.
Tired of that endless cycle of using, guilt, disappointment, depression and then a whole mess of anxiety for the wreckage I had to clean up again for the millionth time.
Like Ang said. I couldnt and cant do it alone. There are so many sober networks available. I have found crucial to connect with others struggling looking for recovery and most importantly, others in recovery already.
There just isnt an understanding like the one shared amongst fellow addicts/alcoholics.
I hope you stick around.
There is lots of info and support here.