hi everyone.. hope you are all having a good saturday night
i haven't had a drink since the middle of june and have been doing really well. the past couple of days i've really wanted to have a few drinks. i think it's mostly because there have been quite a few gatherings.. work things, etc. i don't want to go and not drink. i find myself becoming very shy when i'm in a situation where most people are having a drink and i'm not. shyer than i would be in a normal situation.. i don't know why. i have a friend who knows my whole story and she offered to go with me and not drink but i said no. i don't want to hold anyone back even though i appreciate the support. i don't know... i have just had this blahhhh kinda feeling. i don't want to get wasted, i just want to have a few drinks, that's all. i won't do it because i know it's not worth it but i haven't had an urge this strong the whole time since i stopped drinking so it kind of surprised me. i thought it was supposed to get easier over time but i find that the longer i go without drinking, the more i want to. maybe it's because everything in my life is going great and i think i could handle it. i don't know! sigh