NYC_Chick

I recently found out that my friend is leaving her AH. He is also addicted to drugs.

I suspected for a long time that this was the case because of what I had gone through. I begged her not to marry him before she did it. This was right before I left my xabf in September, 2007. Obviously that did not go over well, but we worked through that and are as close as two friends can be now, more like sisters.

Long story short, she told me that she found out about his addictions in May. He agreed to go to outpatient treatment, then decided not to. Back and forth. We all know the routine. Anyway, that had been going to couples therapy, then he decided not to go and she has been seeing the therapist on her own, who also happens to specialize in addiction. She decided at some point that she wanted out of the marriage. She did not talk to anyone about what was going on and told her family a couple of weeks ago, then me.

I know this sounds weird, but I'm not really sure how to be a good support to her. I think that's because when I was going through all of that with my xabf, she was like a rock for me for whatever I needed, especially in this last final break. So now that the shoe is on the other foot in some respects, I'm not sure what my place is. She is more calm than I've seen her in a long time and looks and sounds like I did when I hit my bottom and started to dig out.

I've told her that I'm here for whatever she needs, even if it's just for a place to go until her lease with him is up. I've also told her that I will help her in any other way I can otherwise, but it's hard to know what to do otherwise. I think because her resolve, in some ways, is much stronger than mine was when I left xabf.

Any suggestions? Thanks!