I'm not big in AA by any means but I do read the Big Book and occasionally join in on online meetings on another site. The first two steps come to my mind when I read your line about whether you're an alcoholic or just crazy.
1. Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives became unmanageable.
Basically saying "I'm an alcoholic and need help."
2. Came to believe in a greater power than ourselves to restore us to "sanity."
Basically saying "I'm crazy and need help."
So basically, I guess in your situation (and millions of other people) you could be both...alcoholic and crazy. It's time for a change. I'm glad you joined SR. There are lots of loving and supportive people who are willing to help you out.