It keeps getting worse
Everything fell apart about 6/7 months ago and I was saved from death (and also the state of walking death that I had been in) by being locked up for 8 days, detoxed and medicated. Subsequently I was able to do some controlled drinking for a couple months before being completely sober for a month and a half. Everything in my life was going great for awhile, and I then gave in to the first drink. Since that time I have been unable to stop and am drinking as much or more everyday as I was 6/7 months ago. My health is shot physically and mentally right now, I've come close to killing myself 2 times in the last week, I can't sleep, my family has abandoned me after reconnecting with them... although they apparently care since they've been calling doctors. Everyone is telling me to get help and all I want is to be left alone.
I do have an appointment with the VA on Tuesday though and I may ask for help.