The fact that you loved them (or once loved them) cannot be erased. Your feelings can change, but it does hurt to know that things cannot ever work out as long as they continue their addiction. It's not you who is broken--it is him. And I know all about the manipulation they use to try to get you back. I regret giving in when I thought my drunk guy had changed. They lie because they don't really want to quit. They want their booze and the people to remain in their life but abuse & booze just doesn't work in a relationship. It never works. It is a formula for future heartache unless they have made vast steps to recovery and even then, AA tells people to not get involved with someone until they've had a year of sobriety. I know this is a different situation when it's a married couple but I can only speak as someone who dated an alcoholic for 2 years and that was about 2 years too long. I do still feel bad at times but not dealing with him helps me to realize just how bad he was for me. He was toxic and hurtful. No one deserves that even if it's masked temporarily by a sappy phone call or card.