Thread: My codependency issues with family of origin
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Old 09-24-2009, 04:35 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Learn2Live
To thine own self be true.
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
diagnosed High Functioning Autism / Aspberger's Syndrome ... My son left school and was awarded Disability Living Allowance ... society sticks a disabled label on him
My nephew has been diagnosed with this too, and is also receiving financial assistance from the government. I have quite a bit of work experience in disability issues and I would like to tell you that folks in the disability community advocate careful use of words. It sounds like semantics to other people but it is really a very serious matter.

When we describe a person as "disabled" we peg them as "less than." This carries a lot of stigma and results in prejudice. In the disability community, we advocate for identifying the person as a person FIRST and the disability as something that they HAVE, not something that they ARE. So, it may help you to ignore people who think of your son as "disabled" or explain to them that he merely HAS a medical condition.

If we do not change the words we use to describe folks with disabilities, we cannot change the stigma society places on them. It must begin with us.

My other issue with codependency is learning to live my new truthful reality, my newly realigned life as a survivor of childhood and adult abuse who chooses to live her life independent of her alcoholic family of origin.
I know this is so very difficult. I also choose to not participate in, agree with, condone, or otherwise support the choices of other people to indulge in an addictive lifestyle. It is difficult because that makes me the "odd man out" but I am willing to accept that in order to maintain my sanity. So, I am with you.

It's just another example of how worthless I am...I guess after 44 years of codependency it's easier to obsess about my family of origin and fixing other people's problems.
It's not just YOUR family of origin IWantToHeal, it's the entire world! So many of us have Family of Origin issues we need to work through. Therefore, it is not a reflection of your worth honey. It's not you. You are a perfectly imperfect human being living with all of us perfectly imperfect human beings. You are not alone.

I hope you feel better soon.
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