Yes and no. Back in August when he relapsed a couple of times after just getting out of the hospital (is it a relapse if the most you can go is 8 days before drinking?), I joined an Alanon group on *****. A couple of people on the board said you should wait six months before making any major decisions, such as leaving. Then we went to the beach, and he was good for about 10 days - and then he was only sober for about 2 days out of every 8. So, I called my attorney friend and asked her about recommending someone - she also told me I should wait. But, while I'm "allowing" him to go through Football season, it puts me in January and gives me that time to put things in order so that the next time I tell him to leave, I'm ready to follow through. Plus, I'm going to school right now and I'm behind. I have finals in early December and then Christmas break. I can't take the stress of going through a separation while I'm trying to get caught up in school and pass my finals. I have three kids and work full-time. Its just too much. Then there's the financial end of things. I guess you could say I've stopped asking him to leave, but I really don't trust him to quit so I figure why not just start planning for January; in the meantime, I'm minimizing the damage he can do. He can't drive anywhere so no DUI's.
And, I figured out his back-up plan. Actually, I knew about his back-up plan even before we made our "deal". But, he's a moron. I don't know why, but I'm not even pissed at him; but now I've shut down one more avenue - hey, if I can't make him stop, at least I can make him have to try really hard to get that drink. And, yes I have a sick sense of satisfaction in making his life as difficult as possible.
I do love the guy though; when he's sober (keyword "when"), he's funny, smart, considerate, loving, and just an all around good guy. He's an obnoxious moron when he drinks. Fortunately, he's the non-violent type. I've been with him for 20 years now and he's never even threatened violence. I want to believe that he wants to quit, but the more I see and the more I read on line, the less convinced I am that's he's sincere. I guess its time to let him go.