I've followed this post since it's beginning, but couldn't quite articulate what it is that bothers me most, despite putting searching thought into it. It's one of those occasions when I've found it important to accurately identify, without obssessing, for the recovery value that accurately identifying may offer.
Finally, however, I found the word that best describes it. It's the AMBIGUITY (uncertainty or doubtfulness) that has most effected me. Often referred to as "quacking", it's the, "What the hell does THAT mean"?, I've seen so many, including myself, left trying to decipher.
If nothing else, when an active addict is "quacking" and you feel the question, "What the hell does THAT mean"?, filling your mind, just remember there is no real honesty when the response to our search for truth, 'right' values, 'right' morality, or 'right' ethics is ambigous... ambiguouty is an ally of active addiction.
Also, this is useful, at least for me, if I find myself reflecting upon/obsessing about statments made by the addict after they've gone. As stated by M. Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled, "Where there is confusion, there are lies." Ambiguouty, for me, is the word that best describes that confusion.
If nothing else, it buys time to think as the addict gets a quizical look like, "What the hell does ambiguous mean"?
Sometimes, for me anyway, it's all about finding the right word that articulates where I am... and I find my 'truth' in the words I choose to use.
Many Blessings,
Shaman