Hi Primal Scream,
I mostly noticed your name....that is how I have felt several times while getting sober & staying sober. I remember my first AA Meeting...it was the same day I was released from the local hospital after a medical detox.
I walked across the room to two tables of lots of people. I was shakey & very anxious. One young man came forward to help me find a place to sit. He & I spoke everytime we met up in the community & he recently passed away. I called him Little Richard because he was about as tall as he was in the width of his body.
I went to a meeting every day for the first year of sobriety...that was 21 years ago this past July 10. I didn't do things perfect but with my sponsor & a lot of work on myself I have stayed sober a long time.
AA did save my life and made it possible for me to have a life like I thought I would have but didn't due to my chemical Imbalance Depression and Alcoholism.
I am going to be 69 in a few days but I don't much celebrate this birthday...even after all the years I still celebrate and share my sobriety birthday all day with others.
One tool I use daily is the Serenity Prayer...you will hear this a lot in AA but it is a true prayer in the Bible somewhere...in a longer version. It helped me to focus on what I could change rather than trying to change something or some one that cannot be changed.
I had to change a lot of things....I learned to set small goals to work up to the larger goals and it worked for me.
I have had the same experience while driving somewhere....I all of a sudden find myself where I planned to go but it was like I couldn't remember what I saw or heard inbetween home and destination.
Take care & keep coming back. :ghug2
kelsh