Old 09-20-2009, 11:14 PM
  # 268 (permalink)  
californiapoppy
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by gneiss View Post
Thanks, everyone!

Husky, hang in there! It's always overwhelming for a few days (at least it was/is for me). I'm a really positive person when it comes to other people but I drag myself down a lot. I'm very negative about me. I cause my own problems, I'm not good/smart/pretty/skinny/girly/strong enough, my life is a mess and it's all my fault. I guess that's my way of awfulizing, as Alera put it. And I know that's probably not true but at the same time the voice echoes loudly in my head. Try to take it easy.



Haha... It is indeed much easier without a hangover. I took an entire semester of geochemistry high on crank and coke and drunk... God alone knows how I managed to pass. Much like China, if I ever get it together I will be a force to be reckoned with. I guess the world is safe from my brilliance for the time being though

That's one thing that has always bothered me about my drug and alcohol use though. I'm a reasonably intelligent person. And I'm told addiction is a disease and can happen no matter how intelligent you are but I just wonder... if I'm of reasonable intelligence how in the world did I let it get so bad? Why didn't I see earlier that it was a problem? Hell, why did I think it was a good idea in the first place? I knew I was drinking too much but I ignored it. I knew before I started that I shouldn't ever touch meth but I did it anyway. Same with every other drug I did. I was smart enough to know I shouldn't and dumb enough to do it anyway.
A desire to fit in with the wrong crowd, peer pressure, curiosity, a feeling that you were strong enough to not get addicted? could be thousands of reasons, but the thing is now it may not be a question of being intelligent at all. I don't think anyone here is particularly stupid, but we all have or had the same sort of problem. What we do now is never give up fighting the urge.
And that can be a lot of work.
californiapoppy is offline