Daisywings

Hello, I am drying out today from a cruise. It is clear I have to stop. I have librium the doctor gave me to help me dry out starting tomorrow. I am a 42 year old married woman with 2 children - a daughter 5 and a son 8.

This is the first time I have actually believed that I am truly an alcoholic. I have always been a heavy drinker, but I have completely lost all control over alcohol. My husband drinks quite a bit, but he seems to still have control over alcohol.

I have always had liver issues but the doc told me if I don't stop I am going to die and he doesn't know when. He does believe if I stop my liver will heal itself and I will live a long life.

Please let me join your group. I do not have my first therapist appointment until Oct 17th. I live way out in the country where there just aren't any AA meetings. Do you think it would be a good idea to attend the online ones? I have been reading the Big Book all day and nursing the weakest wine spritzers it is possible to even still have wine in.

Advice? Anyone know anything about how well this librium is going to work and other things I can do besides turn it over to God and beat myself up like crazy for allowing myself to get this way?

I can't believe I have done this to my husband... You just don't want to know how awful I was on what was supposed to be a well needed family vacation.