The Drs can't be going that well if you're using Steve...if you haven't - go and make a clean breast to your doctor about this and get some ideas on completely getting off the pills, reconnect with your therapist about your grief and inability to cope, and hit regular meetings to keep yourself in a programme.
It's not new advice - it's all here in this thread - but it's good advice.
The only thing thats gonna get you out of this, is action.
Start as soon as possible Steve.
D