Welcome cagreg9!!
You will find SR to be a place of understanding and support and sometimes a little tough love when needed. I have been here since January of this year and it has been the answer to many years of feeling the way you are now. I was at a loss. I had tried everything. I could only complain so much and cry and beg and debate I was finally at my wits end.
Through recovery I learned to cope living with my alcoholic boyfriend of 10+ years. To learn to detach from his addict thinking and manipulations and to understand that what others outside of my situation (save those who had lived through it themselves) thought was meaningless.
You are already farther along that I had been when I first reached out. You are doing what you need to do to protect yourself and your children. For these I commend you!! It would seem that now it is time to learn the tools to move forward with your life along with your children and to function and interact with your addicted spouse in healthier and safer ways for all of you. He may never seek recovery for himself, but you and your children certainly can do so.
If you have not looked into Al-Anon meetings in your area and Al-Ateen for the kids, it will be recommended by those here.
Please check out the sticky threads at the top. There is a lot of helpful information there and quite a few books that will be helpful as well for you and your children.
again, Welcome to SR, keep posting and sharing. Many more will be a long to share as well.
Alice