Originally Posted by
Bamboozle 
Ago, I know I don't know your entire situation, but did you talk to her about your descision to set a boundary before you reminded her of her past infidelity?
Is it possible the reason she disappears is that she needs some space, hence no contact?
Could it be that she is not cheating, but there is another explaination she's not comfortable talking to you about?
I'm not trying to be a butt. Honest. Obviously something is up when someone changes behavior like that.
I'm curious, you mentioned phone records. Which ones, yours or hers?
I did not inform her of the boundary, that would seem like a threat or an ultimatum, a boundary is in place to protect me, not change the other person
She may need space, that would be cool
My phone records on my Blackberry including texts
Obviously something is up when someone changes behavior like that.
That is exactly my thinking, it was like a two sides of a wall,
before - accountability
after the wall - disappears EVERY. SINGLE. WEEKEND.
truthfully I don't care if she is seeing someone else, I really don't, that's not what this is about, it's the "sudden" change as if someone has "pulled the rug" and then denies it ever happened.
Similar to walking up to someone with a beer in their hand and saying "Drinking again huh?"
No
"what, but you have a beer in your hand"
"No I don't" (hides it behind their back)
"You JUST hid it"
"No I didn't"
"YES YES you DID I just watched you!!!"
"No I didn't and I don't like what you are trying to imply, I am a non-drinker and I am not the person you say I am, stop vilifying me and accusing me, it's abusive"
"Honey, I just saw you with a beer in your hand, I am not accusing you of anything, I know you have had a problem with alcohol in your past, so the beer worried me, can you tell me a bit about it?"
"I WASN'T DRINKING, YOU ARE BEING ABUSIVE AND ACCUSATORY, AND YOU ARE ATTACKING AND VILIFYING ME I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE ACCUSING ME OF BEING AN ALCOHOLIC!!! I REFUSE TO DISCUSS THIS!!! YOU ARE AN EVIL PERSON!!!"
"I never said you were an alcoholic, I don't even care if you drink, I just saw you with a beer in your hand, I know you have alcoholism in your family history and......"
"DON'T YOU EVER BRING UP MY FAMILY, YOU ARE BEING ABUSIVE AND POUNDING ME etc etc"
The conversation goes downhill from there.
It's like Monty Python