Originally Posted by
meditation 
Anger feels more action oriented than depression. At least I feel something when I am angry. But I am tired of jumping off cliffs and taking hostages with me. You are right that self care is so important. I used to do that more but I think I did not deserve it so I stopped and hence feeling miserable. Things do get better and even before addiction began I did not have all rosy days. I somehow skipped the pink rosy glow of recovery. But what I am having now is better than a bad day in addiction. Thanks for the support.
******{HUG}}}}
You are so correct that a bad day clean/sober is soooooo much better than the best days before. I spent most of my first year of sobriety wallowing in self loathing, but I had to deal with all the shame I caused myself and others while drinking and what had led me there,it was not fun at all. Getting sober did not cure all my problems but before I had all these "open wounds" that festered and never healed, they might scab over a little but then open wide-- and now the wounds have been "wripped open completely" and allowed to "bleed out" and most importantly allowed to properly heal. I still have scars but I accept that all things happen for a reason, to make me whom I'm supposed to be and to grow. I wish you peace.