Anger feels more action oriented than depression. At least I feel something when I am angry. But I am tired of jumping off cliffs and taking hostages with me. You are right that self care is so important. I used to do that more but I think I did not deserve it so I stopped and hence feeling miserable. Things do get better and even before addiction began I did not have all rosy days. I somehow skipped the pink rosy glow of recovery. But what I am having now is better than a bad day in addiction. Thanks for the support.