dan5555,
It does get better. ODAAT my friend.
U R doing the best thing U can do 4 yourself. I didn't really start to abuse alcohol until in my 30's. This depression is a result of the drinking and the shame and guilt about it.
Read, post, sit here. U will find a lot of ES&H, like no other place.
Good 2 hear U R going 2 a meeting tonight. Drink some hot tea, relax prior 2 going, take some deep breaths and fine a seat. U do not have 2 speak. Just listen, U will find that U R not alone.
Stay strong.