ACOA ... they are like the sandwich community...... get it from both sides *parents and children.
It's like becoming an addict/alcoholic when being an ACOA would be like taking one for the team - for the children.
I don't think so.
I have to agree about inviting people over here from codie land. I found myself in a ACOA meeting and was struck big time by the shares. My tolerance level of maintaining the relationship was based on what I saw in my children's level of corruption. Meaning - once I saw them becoming effected by it - the relationship was over. I then spent the summer off with them to ground ourselves again.
The boys who are 9 and 11 - they are talkative with me and it worries me that they are holding things back. My youngest shared with me that he is wondering who the "next man" is going to be. I think that just really sux... that my son has that to worry about. I put a positive spin on it - and we think up who it could be. I was posing for fake photos with spongebob's different faces on the garbage can in the end! We were all belly laughing. One thing is for certain - my boys are a striving force for me to get my codie under control.
My mother didn't leave her husband, my father, who was cheating on her. I knew to accept that decision - I casted no judgement. However, while I will put up with a hell of a lot- cheating I will not. Maybe it is because of my childhood experience ??? My boys know I was cheated on and that I won't be with a man who does not display integrity. It was his choice - I forgive him - but it's also my choice to stay or leave. As my oldest says - three strikes and you're outta here! We talk fondly about the good times and if they ever want to talk with him - they can. (I worry about that though - because I don't know how he will cope and if they will try only to be let down.)
OKay - well i've rambled on enough. This is the first thread I have read in this forum. Going to check it out here....