As they say, iwanttoheal, "welcome to my world."
It is difficult to talk to people who trigger all of our ACOA buttons by staying in relationships we know - from personal experience - are damaging the children involved. And "difficult" is a gross understatement.
Talking such people down from the ledge and toward better decisions is a very dicey business, and you'll see it handled lots of different ways, from "What the he** are you thinking??!!?" to the softer responses you mention.
Fortunately, we DO get through to some of them. Others, not so much. As Dothi says, "What are you thinking??!?" really doesn't do much good in many situations. Many of these people are in deep denial, and many are untreated ACOA who haven't yet realized why they are in the patterns they're in. So many members try to walk that incredibly fine line between saying nothing at all, and being supportive in a way that will punch through the denial. It's very hard, but people do try, bless them.
I always invite people to step over here to this forum if they're curious about how their kids are going to turn out. It has turned more than a few heads toward a better direction.
Glad you're allowing yourself to get angry. And yes, we ARE cooler
