Thank you Teke! It feels good to know we're not the only "crazy" one! You know, you all are right. What would we have done if we did find something? Whenever I found something my heart raced, I had a lump in my throat, my stomach hurt...and I sucked it up. I did and said NOTHING.
And looking back...knowing what I did...I think I did act "crazier" than the addict.
Ha...the last time he relapsed I found a small pill box container when I was doing his laundry. I opened it up and there was white powder residue. Now surely, a college-educated woman like myself, who knew I was dealing with an addict, would have known what that was in there. But I just wanted to be sure. I swiped my finger in it and sniffed it off my finger trying to see if it had a smell. (Hoping it would smell like baby powder). It didn't, and now I know it was probably drugs. GOD, I'm glad there was no drug testing at my internship!! LOL
He told me it was a drug container...but that it was old. Didn't know how it got in his clothes. LOL.
But on the positive side, he collected his six month tag at NA last week. I'm so proud of him. He's paid me back all the money he owed me, regained employment and started his second year of journeyman school (electrician) and drives two hours to come see me on the weekends. I try to stay detached but its hard not to be damn proud of him. Every day our A's are off drugs, even if they do relapse again, every day they don't use is a day their brain gets a "break".