Originally Posted by
Envelope 
He is attractive - and he disagrees
He is observant (when we went shopping, he saw me look at a neckless, so the following day he went back and bought it :day6
He would arrived with flowers behind his back
He would invite me on "dates" and cook dinner for me
He always made me tea in bed
He would buy me chocolates etc...
Im confused sometimes but hanging in... Thank you for writting to me!!
My RBF did the same thing. He would give me his kidney if he had to when sober. But when using, he was the most selfish and detached person you could imagine. It was hurtful. Addiction completely changed my man to this donkey butt (LOL) that I never figured would enter my life.
As we talked and became closer I started recognizing little comments he would make about his appearance and little comments about how he should be a better person, etc. I was always taken back because he is attractive and he was a good person and great father when sober. I always looked at him like, "Are you kidding me?"
He does have to be happy with himself. Like I said in the above post, shame and guilt, are the biggest monkeys on the addicts back which lowers self esteem even more. If they can't get them off, they will struggle with overcoming their addiction.