Try not to figure everything out - they sometimes call that "analysis-paralysis" - and that's just what it does. Becomes an obsession. The 'no relationship' rule is a guideline actually. it'n not written in stone, in fact it's not written at all. It's an oral tradition in NA and AA. If he stays clean, revisit this after he celebrates his 1st year clean. Make a decision to NOT make a decision until then! If he is staying clean and working steps with a sponsor, you may have found a truly clean addict. No guarantees even then - relapse is still common, but not nearly as common as with those who don't go to meeting, have a sponsor, and work steps. BTW, I have heard the statistic from some reliable research group or other) that if an addict reached the 1 year clean mark in a 12 step recovery program, the odds of staying clean are 50/50. Prior to reaching the first year mark, they are lower than that, and after the 1st year, they get better and turn in favor of the addict staying clean. So the longer one is clean in recovery the better the odds they will stay that way. Just something else to consider. I wouldn't even think about marriage until those odds are solidly in favor of recovery (sometime after he celebrates year 2). But I don't mean to have you projecting on the future either! not easy, is it?
