Wow!! Thank you to all for replying, I am overwhelmed with the responses!!
I have just returned from my 3rd Nar Alon meeting and feel energized!! I have decided not to call him, as I usually do after my meeting, to tell him what I have learned and share. This was a tough call, but Im sticking to it.
I have been thinking alot (which Im sure all of you do) about my reasons for persuing the relationship in the begining. Apart from his honesty, I mentioned that he had kept a level head by maintaing his job, paying the bills etc... while using. So the core of this man shows me strength and some common sence, right? Until today at my meeting, I chatted to another Nar Alon member and she said that he was a functional addict. For some reason I took about 10 steps back.
Some can function and others cant. Just because he could function didnt mean that his problem is not so serious. I have been saying to myself that at least he was maitaining, but it is a behavioural thing???
URMYEVERYTHING: You said that you experienced behaviour changes in a fuctional man before his relapse?? This is what i was seeing during his recovery!!
Laurie: Thank you for your usefull input on the 4th Step. You have encouraged me to feel that I did the right thing - but Im sure doubt will come and go still. But I wanted to ask you; staying focused in your 1st year kind of baffels me so maybe Im missing the boat?
He registered on the dating website
He wrote to me 1st
He asked to meet for coffee
He followed up to meet again
He wanted me to meet his dad and brothers
He spoke about the future together
He spoke about moving together
He insisted to take me away for a holiday, which he paid for
He was thinking of joining me on a trip to visit my folks
He told me that he loved me
Was everything a lie? Can I trust what he represtented?
What happens when there is a married couple and one partner is going through similiar things as my partner? Do they end the marriage just because they say the 1st year is when the recovery addict needs to focus??