Good Morning to All,
I really feel bad for you Dazimae, Like yours my A is a great man, but the alcohol has distroyed his thinking, for example last year at Christmas he spent $200.00 on his buds, I got nothing,not even a card! That is just one of so many painful things Ive had happen. If I could just wave a magic wand. My A quit drinking for 2weeks but I had to stop "playing" on my computer, start doing things with him, Why?? if Im watching TV he will change the channel in the middle of my show, he still would hang out at the bar drinking pepsi, what is boils down to is I must walk this razors edge or he will start drinking,guess what, then drink, I have given him everything,he has given me nothing, Im done giving I wont let myself get hurt anymore. Whatever happens to him is his own doing,
I have had the most bizzar thing happen, when I was 16 I had a boyfriend he was 18 and he was just the most wonderful person, he was my first love, I ended up getting pregnant. with the support of my father I had to make some important choices.anyway I ended up sending him away(brain dead moment) I raised our daugther myself,well throught several bad relationships, and 33+ years here he is. He has a very good job, deep spiritual convictions,doesnt drink, Talks about anything, just an all around nice guy,as he was before. and He is still in Love with me.
boy does that throw a wrench in the mix, I know that my A isnt going to change unless he wants to, I look down the road 5yrs from now and Im still driving his drunk a** around. I am very bitter towards him cuz of the way hes treated me. I have detached,to the point that my A is no longer in my life. I take care of myself, I do not support him cuz unless he quits there is nothing to support.
I know and dont worry Im not jumping off the bridge!!! if things dont change soon, Im not sitting here and watching him die! Im going to buy myself a farm in Texas and be fat dumb and happy with a garden and some amimals. and Im going to spend some time trying to find Debbie, I know shes out there somewhere.
I just dont get it if people would just treat their other half like they do their friends, instead of their possessions what a great place to live.
I guess Ive taken up enought time
Hugs to All and God bless
Debbie
"If you love something let it run free
if it leaves and comes back its yours,
if not,
it never was.... I forgot the author, I just like that saying