NB, 2:30 is early though! I can't sleep on a regular schedule... Last night I fell asleep at midnight.
Taz, I'm still waiting on that... Well, to be fair, things have gotten better, but only me. I wake up not needing a drink and am probably in a better mood--can't really tell because I don't talk to anybody, but I find myself bouncing along to music more than I think I did before. And some other stuff. But I'd rather my life got better too, I guess. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I'd really like a job, so I don't have to rely on a broke state to pay me. Still nothing there.
Holdfold I got two weeks!...
I did it... somehow. I guess by mostly not paying attention during my daily life to the fact that I was not drinking. Being very busy. The school semester really helped, I think.
As far as CT, um, no thank you. Maybe in March... Been living in Cali long enough not to own real gloves or coat... jackets for the rain and sweatshirts for the desert nights. Although I fly all over the place when I'm bored, and I notice I still can handle the chill of 30, even though I complain here about 60.
I like painting, it's nice and mindless. I always liked stocking stores for the same reason. Lots of time to contemplate other things.
Sorry I haven't been around, first this computer crashed, then the internet in the dorms. In between I said a few things, lots of PMs. Unfortunately, what I saw on the first page yesterday scared me off. At the time I was looking, the first half were from people who had relapsed. What with my self-awarded silver medal and all, I needed to not be reading all those. Nothing against the people who wrote them, I just am not in a good place to be reading person after person stumble on a path I'm not real good at walking in the first place.
I'm still scared to look at a lot of people's threads.
So, after closing the laptop I had to think of something quick to do. On Tuesday, I cleaned up loose ends at school. So I decided to do the same with Los Angeles. My loose ends, at least. There's 14 million of us from Bakersfield to the border, I hear. I'll let the other 13,999,999 tidy up their own messes, thank you very much.
Almost back into the court program, gotta call on Wednesday for an appointment. Got my mail at my old address--for a while it was useful to have 2 addresses. Went into Hollywood for a CD I've been wanting--they didn't have it.
In a car, this might have taken me a couple hours. The bus company managed to turn it into a 9 hour trip. 4 locations, all within 30 miles or so of each other. On a Thursday afternoon (ie, not much traffic, even in LA).
First, the first bus from school decided not to come, or possibly was there only in an alternative universe. Either way, ten minutes later I decided to drive partway--driving the whole way made no sense, no parking at some locations, to a train station. Ha ha, the website claimed there was such a thing as parking at train stations. Noplace I could find could tell me how to get to it--including LiveLocal or whatever it's called these days. I eventually found the way in by circling the place. It was not marked. Over the course of my afternoon, 3 buses refused to stop for me (?), 2 of them waved behind them. Don't know if they were referring to their passengers, telling me to wait for the next bus, or if they were even gesturing to me. One bus I boarded, I showed my daypass and said "Good afternoon." I got a loud tirade back about how this is not about me, or any of the other passengers, that the driver can't be fired because he has tenure, and the reason he picked me up in the first place was because I was standing at the bus sign, that if I had been sitting a few feet over on the bench, he would have passed me by, because he only has to pick up people at the sign. I nodded and sat down--in the back. No, I don't understand his speech, but I'm happy he didn't drive the bus off a bridge or something. The bus system does a good job of being impossible around here.
Got home very tired and irritated with the buses, and found out my internet was down. Da- near cried. My saving grace was my sleepiness, because I didn't know what I'd do without the internet, to play with, to come here, to... it's pretty much been my crutch in sobriety. For better or for worse. It's my only connection with the outside world anymore, and tonight I get to go home to Friday night in the dorms, lock myself in my room and read or something. While everybody outside and in my living room is loud talking and having 'fun' of some description. Not looking forward to it.
Anyways, like I said to Holdfold, 2 weeks! 14 days! And still aiming for more, no reasons happening that might risk that. Although I'm somewhat impulsive/ reckless, but if my roommates are already drinking when I get home, they're easier to deal with.
One thing I overheard last night made me think: They had invited some frat boys over, and were drinking @ 11pm or so. Those guys left, don't know when. Then around 1:40--liquor sales stop @ 2 in this state--one of them, Evil Roommate, tells Art Roommate that she 'needs a drink.' Maybe Evil Roommate hates me because of her own problems (I don't know her name, much less how much/often she drinks), or she knows what and why I'm going through all this mess, and hates me for being sober. Who knows--it's just a thought.
Well, headlong into another weekend. Got nothing really, a meeting on Saturday and church on Sunday. I really really really hope the internet is back up, the Student Union is not open all the time on weekends.
Well, take care y'all, it's two-week-sober TB signing off for right now...