Momsrainbow, I have lived what your going through... when my STBexAH was released from prison he did good for a few months then started using. He disappeared a few times when it got towards the end of his parole. I talked to the PO but it was too late for him to do anything cause he just had a couple weeks left. I wished I had let him know sooner. Cause the nightmare of him stealing everything of value in the basement after he left wouldn't have been ongoing for months after he left. It only ended when the stuff ran out.
It sounds to me like even though he may be hiding it from you he is back to using.
Then comes the disappearing and blaming you... blaming you so he don't have to feel
guilty for his actions. Please put the focus on you and your happiness. You have
done all you can for him at this point... let him go, and work on getting yourself healthy.
You deserve it!
I'm not a dog lover, but my kids are... I finally gave away the dog AH left... and all 6 puppies. It's a weight off my shoulders to not have to care for them... as a single mom of 3 kids, we're always on the go with their activities and really no time to care properly for puppies. Anyway, I hope you find some PEACE and SERENITY today... do something special just for you.
I'm having a big cup of coffee with special flavored creamer... that's my treat to ME today!
(((HUGS)))